Okay, seriously, I suck

What the f? How the hell did I do this?
I got up this morning to get ready for work and then proceeded to fracture my foot.
How did I do this you ask?
Was I climbing a mountain?
Was I stunt biking?
Was I playing the sports?
Was I fighting a bear (or other sufficiently hardcore animal)?
No. I was walking across my living room, safe within the confines of my apartement. So now I don't even have a cool story to go with it (other than "I am retarded" but we all know that one). We are currently accepting submissions of sufficiently awesome bullshit to tell people when asked what happened. Multiple different stories are welcome (always play with their minds).
But, the rediculous thing (other rediculous thing?) is that over the course of my life I have had like maybe two x-rays (other than of my teeth for braces). And now I have been to the same x-ray lab twice within a span of about 17-18 hours. The receptionist recognized me as "that guy here for a shoulder x-ray last night and do you need to get another one of your shoulder and just how exactly did you go from shoulder to foot in such a short period of time are they connected somehow or are you just an idiot..." and so on.
God, felt like such a tool.
So, here I am with a tensor bandage and an ice pack and some crutches (and an honest-to-god doctor's note. Don't think I have ever had to get one of those before). Basically everything you'd get for something like this short of an actual cast. Hopefully it gets easier to walk soon. Crutches are obnoxious.

Dammit.